| C6693R-382 |
[28 Dec 2006|02:00am] |
I GOT ALL A'S BITCHES! SUCK MY BALLS. I AM SOOOO INCREDIBLY HAPPY AND I LOVE MY NEW YEARS PLANNNNS!
omgi'm highhhhhhh.
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[10 Dec 2006|07:14pm] |
Yes, I'm depressed and I'm sure you all are aware of that because of everything that I've said the last couple of days, but everything that I said was unjustified. The feelings that I had were rooted in bitterness and were reactions to apparent lies and incomplete stories. I'm still very depressed but it's now found in my own shame. I'm an embarrassment to anyone who's ever said that they loved someone.
But, if actions speak louder than words, than I will do something that really shows how much I care and how much I want for us to be how we were or civil at least. Hopefully my actions will erase everything I've done and we can start from scratch.
I love you, Mike.
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| Filler |
[26 Oct 2006|01:32am] |
I'm 21 years old now.
I'm trying in school.
I've been in a relationship for about 8 months.
Love it.
I'm stressed out on a daily basis, but I'm dealing and that's okay.
please keep in contact with me.
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| they might say |
[22 Jun 2006|07:52pm] |
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For everyone who isn't aware, my life is going swimmingly.
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| where no island should go |
[31 May 2006|01:29am] |
I am upset.
In an off the cuff remark trying to make you smile, I referred to you as the modern day equivalent of what used to be cool about Russia. You like it and you still use it. I don't know how I feel about that because I know when others hear it or read it that they will in turn laugh. I feel that if people knew how I felt when I said that and how I feel now that no one would laugh because the difference is so great that it's heartbreaking. I'm heartbroken. I'm upset.
I've been timid about talking to my friends or anyone about my personal life because I'm confused. I think everyone I know is confused about what's going on in their relationships. Relationships are a very important thing so it's good to take them seriously. It's good to think consciously about where I am, where I want to be and is "he" where I need him to be. A friend of mine, Miriam, once said to me that her biggest fear is that she'll let herself settle. She was referring to relationships which makes it à propos, but it can applied anywhere I think. I think that one of my better attributes and something that defines the people closest to me is that we never settle for something less that what we want, we need, or what we deserve.
I just talked to him and he said that he is sorry that he's "settling" for a boy that isn't me. It's comforting to hear, but it's also disheartening because I have to ask myself why is he settling. How is this person that I am/was/idontknow so close to able to do something I can't. And if I'm still confused about where I'm at, how was he so able to just start calling this new boy his boyfriend when very little time had transpired. That upset me more than anything has ever upset me. And he didn't even have the decency to call me to tell me. I've cried a few nights thinking about it. I'm crying right now.
Maybe you care. Maybe you don't. I have this overwhelming feeling that I probably care more about you than you do about me. I feel as though you're indifferent to me now that you're with someone else, now that you've settled. I'm very upset.
I wish we would've talked tonight.
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